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  • Woluwe St Lambert, bright and spacious room for only €200 a month in exchange for light childcare duties including waking them up, giving them breakfast, dressing them, dropping them off at school and collecting them, giving them dinner, doing their homework with them, bathing them, putting them to bed, reading them stories, and generally giving them the love we are unable to give while we are busy pursuing our passion for tango. PO Box 12


  • Poplar, £850 a week, ex-council property now mainly squatted by crackheads but with a few scared yuppies renting on the top floors. This is a shit-hole but it’s still East London, trendy motherfuckers only please. PO Box 29
  • Hamsptead, £97m a fortnight, must have own blender, chain-smoking born-again Christian preferred. PO Box 30



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